Here's looking at you, kid
by Mansah
Summary: Basically, it's an eye thing; Chuck and Blair's relationship told through eyes and furtive glances. Up to s3 debacle.


Clearly, I don't own anything.

Comments of any kind makes my day!:D

A/N: This has been festering in my mind and partially on my computer for a while. It was all triggered by J.K. Rowling and her 'the green eyes found the black' because there's so much of Chuck and Blair's interaction that has evolved around those eyes. I considered including bits from s4 as well, but clearly my brain is still too stuck on the whole s3 debacle to go any further. Possibly I may do a separate piece on it later.

* * *

It's the cornerstone of their relationship: how it came to be, how it ended, everything before, everything in between, everything after. It all comes down to one thing: hazel eyes finding dark brown. It's the beginning and the end of everything because they've both always been able to read a truth there that contradicts all the lies and deceits their words and actions conjure up for the world.

It's eyes that reveal a vulnerability they'd never admit to. It's the truth spilling out from behind the mask.

It's a calculating, speculative glance when they find their world order threatened by Brooklyn boys and blonde bombshells' blasts from the past. A promise of a collaborated takedown sealed with smirks and raised eyebrows as words uttered before make it clear to both that once again they have a common enemy. The plotting begins because nobody is to best them and there's a glorious sense of companionship between them that surpasses any ideas of him being heinous and her being a prude. So there's sleuthing and scheming and lewd remarks and maybe they'd feel discomforted if they thought it would lead to more (because he comes from the lineage that gave us Casanova and Don Juan de Marco and she has already found Prince Charming) but when their eyes meet all they see is a twisted mirror image of themselves and what's to fear in that?

It's a triumphal look met with admiration in a burlesque club called Victrola. His eyes unable to sway from the seductive movements of her body, suddenly conscious of something that perhaps he always assumed; there's more to Blair Waldorf than what meets the eye and maybe he isn't aware of it just yet, but lust is setting into his body. He's rapidly realising that there was a lot more truth in all the lewd remarks he has given her over the years than he ever suspected.

It's eyes that find each other in the darkness of a limousine, pupils dilated with desire reflected in the eyes across. Words are exchanged and suddenly there's bodies touching, mouths meeting and a hoarsely whispered 'Are you sure?' making this union a historical mark for both of them even if they don't know it yet. Because when has Chuck Bass ever asked before he took... anything? and when did Blair Waldorf ever consider giving up her virginity to anyone but Nate -and in a moving vehicle? However unlikely it seems the fact is movements grow more frantic, hands prowl, clothes is ripped off, moans and gasps escape swollen lips and in the heat of the moment they could both see this going on forever because it's better than either of them ever imagined it could be.

It's his eyes following her hungrily as she leaves him dangling on streets, as she runs from him at parties leaving him with emotions he can't quite comprehend but which makes him act in ways he never did before. At first it's shaming (because Chuck Bass doesn't do butterflies), later it's wonderful (because knowing he makes her glow feels better than anything he's ever fucking done before) until it all comes crashing down (and more fool him for thinking butterflies were worth any damn thing). Whatever truths their eyes might tell each other their actions work against them and suddenly she's back in Nate's arms and he's boarding a plane, hiding his eyes until they're able to conceal the fact that for a while all of it really mattered.

It's him spying on her from behind brick buildings, turning away as their eyes meet across the courtyard speaking volumes that their minds will not translate.

It's her eyes showing she cares despite her lips proclaiming him her last resort.

It's his eyes unable to meet hers as he spews any and all ammunition he has against her, his grip firm on his drink because it's all he has to save him while he's breaking her as she broke him. And maybe if their eyes had met then things would have been different because when it comes down to it they're both regretting their words, their actions, but they will never admit it. By the time his eyes dart towards her seat it's already empty. Apologies were never their strongest suit.

Silence follows this, eyes rarely meeting but following the other furtively when nobody's watching (except occasionally, in unguarded moments, when across the courtyard a look is shared and despite the scowl on their faces there's really only one interpretation for that expression). _Eventually the two of you are going to have to work out your issues. _

It's a lingering look shared between them as he makes a toast and wipes away the past.

It's adoring, lustful gazing as they leisurely move through a dance; their eyes undressing the other while their mouths claim that things will go slow this time. There are two of the most cynical people trusting each other completely because she has given up Prince Charming and even if Chuck Bass never belonged with anyone one day he might and he's okay with that (for now) because turns out he could always be romantic for the right girl.

It's joy and it's nerves and it's butterflies as they realise this might be the real thing.

Soon it's flowers in hand; hopeful hazel eyes faced with scorn in a pair of dark brown; proof that paradise was lost before summer even began. And even if he claims her eyes don't match her mouth as she speaks of her new life and her new Prince Charming, even if he claims it's all a ploy to take revenge he's not ready to analyse the implications of this. Nor is he ready to ask himself why his stomach clenches as his eyes fall upon a pin whose magical powers he has been longing to possess for a while.

In the end there are two sets of eyes tearing up because he failed her and she can't forgive and even if both their eyes whisper three words, their mouths aren't ready to voice them yet. Apologies still don't come easily.

What follows then is plotting and scheming and lewd remarks in a bigger riskier game than they've ever played before because they're opponents now and they've never been more equally matched. Eyes meet constantly: glaringly, gleefully, lustfully, pleadingly, mockingly, triumphantly, angrily, mournfully... Come fuck me, come hither, come beg for mercy. Until the games turn sour on a rooftop in Brooklyn and instead of a victory they both lose. But they're closer to the truth now and all they can trust is that their eyes will guard that truth and then maybe in the future...

For a time it's stolen glances when the other doesn't notice, a cordial attitude they've never tried before. They daren't look directly at the other because it's too dangerous; facades can slip easily and they're still not ready for the future if it doesn't involve the games. _What do we have Chuck?_, the answer could be simple if only they had the guts but simple is too easy for them and before they know it opportunity has slipped away.

Simplicity is replaced by a complicated, screwed up reality with no room for games as their world comes crashing down and suddenly their eyes are talking two different languages.

It's the same story in a new form. For a while only one pair of eyes alert to the other; dark brown eyes searching frantically for hazel willing them to let her in. But it doesn't matter because even when they meet there's nothing left in his. The eyes are as dead as the father he's mourning and she's afraid she has lost him forever even if words have suddenly slipped off her tongue that she never thought she'd say.

By the time his eyes are ready to meet hers, the world has changed again. There's a bouquet thrown away, landing accusingly at his feet as the doors close on a future he was finally ready to embrace and even though, at last, he has learnt to apologise it's no longer enough.

Shortly after it's his eyes that see the emptiness in hers as her dreams are snatched away; Yale admittance rescinded and the whole world turning against her. Blair Waldorf losing the one thing she's ever really wanted and deciding there's no point in holding on if it all comes to nothing. It scares the shit out of him because if he can't read her eyes he has no clue how to save her, them. Besides, even if he can deny they ever mattered she's not supposed to.

It's eyes that disclose a different truth than their gestures try to tell as they deny their pull and seek refuge in different arms. History repeating itself as she finds solace in his best friend while he's left alone to nurse his hangover. It's realising even if he didn't know how to save her he's still the one who knows her best.

It's the return of furtive glances, questions asked and lies answered; truths admitted only to anyone but the one they love.

It's a penetrating stare and a lying bare of the soul as she strips down to the only fact that matters now. _I love you so much it consumes me._ Eyes unflinchingly looking into his, ruling out any reason they shouldn't be together. And for a while he's looking right back, but it's revealing too much and he's not ready.

It's tears running down her cheeks as she realises she's gambled everything and lost.

It's hazel eyes finding brown on a street in Manhattan. It's presents tracing the train of his thoughts throughout his travels. It's words said that unite them forever. 'I love you's counted one two three interspersed with kisses. Smiles on lips mirrored in the glow of their eyes as they turn to a fresh page. It's knowing they're on the brink of happily ever after; the prince swooping in to win the princess and carrying her away on his proud steed. The past is left behind as they both let go of their regrets, rewriting the rules of their relationship to suit their needs, their desires.

It's eyes that are allowed to prowl, allowed to gawk, allowed to ogle, allowed to feast on the object of their affection. Eyes that caress or show they care as they settle into bliss. It's handholding and happy days and sex in limos. It's games and it's playing and behaving like fools in love. It's no more secret looks and furtive glances because the secret is out and even if they didn't want it to be it's impossible to hide it.

...

It's eyes filled with tears. It's a face turning away. It's a cruel distortion of truth. It's a never voiced apology. It's her eyes looking into the mirror and finding she has lost herself. It's asking himself why winning feels like losing.

It's their history ending as it began.

It's dark brown eyes finding hazel telling them they're over.


End file.
